you have nothing to lose but your pants

Hi Mom!

2008-08-11T12:35:00.001-04:00

Welcome to my blog! Your blog is swell! Please visit often!

love, SKA

ring a ding ding

2008-08-06T11:33:00.001-04:00

Well, if you haven't heard already, there's a ring in my future. I hope it doesn't look like this.

Work related

2008-07-11T13:43:00.003-04:00

I'm normally far too self-absorbed to write about current events and things like that, but I just finished creating selection lists for Buffalo and Erie County's public library for titles in honor of their native son, Tim Russert. Books on politics and government for adults and kids - just the kinds of books that would have sparked discussions on his show. It makes a gal proud to be a little involved in a worthy project.

too lazy to post

2008-07-01T19:24:00.001-04:00

but here's a quiz!

You Are The Fool

You are a fascinating person who is way beyond the concerns of this world.
Young at heart, you are blissfully unaware of any dangers ahead.
You are a true wanderer - it has be difficult finding your place in this world.
Full of confidence, you are likely to take a leap of faith.

Your fortune:

You are about to embark on a new phase in your life.
This may mean changing locations, jobs, friends, or love status.
You are open about what the future will bring, and free of worry.
You have made your peace with fate, and you're ready to start down your new path.

http://www.blogthings.com/whattarotcardareyouquiz/">What Tarot Card Are You?

late night meddling

2008-06-26T15:58:00.003-04:00

I am a busybody. I confess. But I am a busybody with a heart.

My upstairs neighbor died sometime in April (not IN the apartment). It was a sad and sudden occasion - he was a young guy, he dropped dead unexpectedly, he'd just moved in because he was separated from his wife. He had a cat, which I can hear at night galloping around the apartment. So last night some people came and loaded up a truck with stuff from that apartment, leaving it (I gather) empty. And still the cat is doing laps up there.

This makes me sad and mad too, because this poor kitty had a master who just never came home one day. And every so often someone comes and feeds him, but mostly he's alone. So I sat down and wrote an anonymous note of the pleading variety: something along the lines of "your cat deserves a good home - if you can't take him in yourself, don't abandon him." As if they weren't aware of this already.

Still. It had to be said! I included the address of the local animal shelter in case they just can't keep it. I don't think that puts me in the category of passive-aggressive note writer. Does it?

Soon, you will be as cheese...

2008-06-11T10:03:00.004-04:00

melty, melty.

All obscure references to superheroes on Nickelodeon aside, Bibliofilly has been without air conditioning throughout the little heat wave that started Saturday and averaged 96 degrees every day. I've been using fans (sometimes 2 at a time), long soaks in cold tubs, and extended trips to cooler places as my main means of survival. Unfortunately, the resultant sleep deprivation and frustration with my apartment building's maintenance team has made me a tired, angry little teddy bear.

In a true act of devotion and kindness LOML offered to put me up in luxurious air-conditioned comfort, and even went so far as to say that Harry could come along as well (both of us knowing full well that LOML is allergic to Harry), and I relented Sunday night, but sans cat. Getting Harry to go in the car is an exercise in getting covered in cat hair, as well as scratches, and his anxiety level while in the car makes even a short trip seem like an ordeal. Translation: he usually poops himself. So, I slept alone these past few nights, sweltering and seething. Fortunately the weather has broken - and the maintenance people are coming out again to re-check the AC. I may reenact Crime and Punishment (complete with hatchet and fevered demeanor) if something doesn't happen soon.

Tip o' the Day

2008-06-03T11:02:00.002-04:00

If you are in the office and you beschmutz yourself with something like toner, after you brush or shake the loose particles off, dab it (very gently - don't spread it) with a little hand sanitizer. The alcohol dries faster than water would, meaning less time walking about with big wet spots announcing to the world that you need an apron.

How do I know this? Oh, I just know.

bowling just took on a whole new meaning

2008-06-01T13:29:00.003-04:00

LOML has begun investigating his passion for cricket in a new blog. So far, it's only 2 entries long, but I'm excited to see the gears working, and it should be good clean fun. Check it out, won't you, and give him a shout.

http://sillymid-off.blogspot.com/

Still not eloquent

2008-05-27T14:28:00.001-04:00

I'm in love. It may take me a while to return to reality.
Please leave a message after the tone.

on loss of eloquence

2008-05-05T11:31:00.002-04:00

o neglected blog
you've been a good audience
not sure what to write.

I am well and truly smitten with Bachelor #3...and I can't even find words to say so! I find myself saying dumb things like "you are really neato" and my whole education and all those wonderful polysyllabic words have obviously left the building. What's wrong with me????

I am actually not unhappy to have this problem. I am beaming and glowing and not at all in need of sleep or food or anything. The coolest thing of all, he likes me too!

I will blog again later, when I have graduated from middle school and can form mature adult sentences...

Guess who's...

2008-04-22T20:16:00.004-04:00

This is an old standby: who would you invite, living or dead, to a dinner party? This came up in conversation when R., someone I recently met, mentioned that in 19th-century Paris it was the practice to get someone to act as a 14th person (known as quatorziens) at the table if the number of invited guests was 13 - since 13 is an "unlucky" number. (I like this guy! So erudite and interesting...it makes a gal tingle...)

So, anyway, here's my list:

1. Henry Rollins. You knew it was coming. I love how he expresses himself. And he's got no shortage of opinions.

2. Christopher Hitchens. Contrarians are a blast to watch.

3. Germaine Greer. A killer mind and a feminist too. Just stirring the pot...

4. Gandhi. I understand he was a hoot at Charades.

5. Dorothy Parker. Naturally.

6. Picasso. When he gets bored with all the talk he can draw a mural on the tablecloth.

7. Colette. One of the wittiest (and sexiest) women of her day. Loved cats. Maybe she could make Harry behave.

8. Jane Austen. Just to see if she's really all that. Not sure she is.

9. the current Dalai Lama. He laughs so often, you just know he's fun to be around.

10. Jon Stewart. Just to keep us on topic, he can moderate.

11. Amy Sedaris. Quirky and adorable. Maybe she'll make me cupcakes.

12. Kim Jong-Il. Let's get this party started!

13. Iggy Pop. One of the most well-spoken and informed people in music. If it gets dull, he can smear himself with peanut butter and dance on the table.

14. The Living Quatorzieme - who else but Stephen Fry? He is so Oscar Wilde-y they made him play it in the movies, and everyone wants Oscar Wilde to come to dinner.

Someone call the waaaaahm-bulance

2008-04-08T15:32:00.002-04:00

I'm serioulsy, life-ruiningly swamped at work, my boss just yelled at me, people think I'm incompetent, I have insanely high cholesterol so I'm on a high-fiber, no-fun diet, my sister disowned my mother and is acting crazy in other ways, the latest online dude turned out to be a dud, and my face is breaking out.

Only several days of drunkenness followed by copious amounts of sleep, fresh air, and good food will make this right. Unfortunately, one more waaaah - I'm in the negative for vacation time, so I can't take any days off.

Boo!

meme

2008-03-31T14:15:00.001-04:00

I actually have way too much work to do, but I'm bored, and we can't let THAT happen.

I found this somewhere, it doesn't matter where, and it looked cool, so here we go. Apologies for repetition.

Go to Google Image Search and enter each of the following search terms, and pick an image from the first page of results. Here's mine!

1. Age at next birthday:

2. A place you’d like to travel:

3. Your favorite place:

4. Your favorite food:

5. Your favorite animals:

6. Your favorite color:

7. Town where you were born:

8. First name of a past love:

9. Best friend’s nickname:

10. Your screen/nickname:

11. Bad habit of yours:

12. Grandmother’s name:

13. College major:

14. Your first job:

Knitting up the raveled sleave of care

2008-03-18T07:44:00.004-04:00

So last night my way of celebrating St Patrick's Day was to take myself over to a sleep lab and allow myself to be hooked up with all kinds of wires so that I resembled William Hurt in Altered States and then I was asked to relax (!) and go to sleep, and I finally did, and in the middle of a dream involving way too many hamburgers and a train station in Switzerland, the sleep tech turned on the lights (oh, how rude!) and brought me a mask and said I should put it on because I stopped breathing about 80 times per hour.

This mask is a series of elastic straps that go around the head and a vinyl nose-cover that extends into your nostrils, or it should do so if you don't have narrow nostrils like I do, and the mask attaches to a tube which blows a constant stream of air down your throat. So I tried it for 10 seconds or less and felt like I would suffocate and I knew that I would never, ever be able to make this a part of my nightly routine. Who can blame me? But apparently it may be the only thing that works for my relatively severe problem, and I don't like my chances for heart disease, stroke, and hypertension if I don't do something. I'm biding my time and waiting for someone to tell me it isn't true.

greasy paper bags

2008-03-01T11:08:00.004-05:00

In Slaughterhouse-five, there's a passage where Vonnegut describes the rattling breaths of the dying colonel as sounding like they were coming from greasy paper bags. My sister always reminds me of this whenever I have a respiratory illness without fail.

I'm at my computer today, so I must be better. Or the butt-prints on my bed and couch have to air out. Anyway, I misdiagnosed myself with the flu and it's actually pneumonia, so here's a pretty graphic of a chest X-ray. I finally broke down and went to a doctor Wednesday. He found my flu theory intriguing but said my lungs said no.

Today is the first day my temperature is below 100, so I'm really happy about that. I might be going back to work Monday, but I'm going to play that one by ear - I'm still taking the "good" cough syrup that you shouldn't drive if you're taking. I am studiously avoiding anything to do with work - I am going to turn my computer off in a minute because that's just not restful. I want to stay in my invalid world of white bread toast and tea and watch more nice, safe reruns on TV for just a little longer.

Rotten au Gratin

2008-02-25T09:39:00.003-05:00

The one year my sister the nurse doesn't nag me to get a shot, I get the flu. I'm dizzy, I have a cough and a fever, and I feel sore all over. Like someone's been hitting me with a sockful of pennies. Oy!

all that Latin finally pays off!

2008-02-22T10:43:00.003-05:00

My newest addiction is a site called Free Rice.

You click on multiple-choice vocabulary word definitions and each correct answer donates 20 grains of rice through the United Nations World Food Program. I've definitely seen words that are not in everyday use, but I am working my way up to being expert. See, Ma, all that Latin was worth it.

back to grade five

2008-02-17T12:04:00.002-05:00

oh come on, this is funny. Courtesy of the Caribbean foods section of my local Stop and Shop.

Weasels Ripped My Flesh

2008-02-10T12:06:00.000-05:00

Or to paraphrase the late great Frank Zappa, Squirrels Ripped My Rubbermaid.
The little miscreants like to steal the birdseed out of the feeder, so it's not a total surprise that they are going after the main stash. I will replace the storage bin on my balcony with something metal. Probably an old-school 30-gallon trash can. If I can find one anymore! So far I have come up empty, but I only tried Target and Kmart. Everyone LOVES plastic - or as they like to call it, "resin." Sounds so much classier that way but we all know the truth...

planning ahead

2008-02-05T20:07:00.000-05:00

when I am forty (I am REALLY planning ahead, you know - I plan to be 34 for many years to come!) I have decided I will take a nice trip, or, as I like to call it, "a REAL vacation" - i.e., one that doesn't involve me crashing on someone's couch but actual hotels and a sense of freedom to do whatever one pleases.

But where? Money is no object - yet, since I haven't any and I don't know what this kind of thing costs. It's a bit dizzying to think of what to do.

So far my contenders are:

1. Walking in Scotland. I love the landscape, and walking would give me a sense of purpose.

2. Alaska during the aurora borealis. A bit trite, but I'd like to be someplace with some semblance of wildness before all these places are gone. And the lack of light pollution would make this really amazing.

3. Rent a villa near Lake Como. For no really good reason but the food, the scenery, and the wine.

4. Fiji. Why the hell not? But only if I can stay in one of those private huts on the beach.

5. Tanzania. I'd like to see, if not climb, Kilimanjaro. Partway. Just a little.

6. Sweden. In July. Midnight sun, berry-picking, and all that blond wood.

7. Tokyo. At the Park Hyatt, the hotel in Lost in Translation. It's truly stunning!

8. This may sound utterly pedestrian, but a rental in the Berkshires or the Adirondacks on a lake. A nice rental with a fireplace and a boat and a bike at my disposal. I could go either way with that - it could be fun in either winter or summer.

9. I'd be curious to take a "water cure" someplace old-world.

I'm taking suggestions, you know.

nicked from BoingBoing

2008-02-02T14:22:00.001-05:00

and as Cory Doctorow said, Christ I'm old.

Enjoy: Beloit College's Class of 2011 "Mindset List." These kids were
born in 1990.

bring this one back

2008-02-02T11:30:00.000-05:00

He's out of my age range, I'm afraid, but I listen to older people when they come in to the library. I like to. They have something to say. This gent is a gardener. Wants to find indigenous plants. "I have the internet, but I'm too old for that," he says. I start to protest and he says, "People say you're never too old, but I have a house in Italy," he explains, and I get it: for someone who wants to dig in the dirt and watch things grow, the Internet doesn't have relevance. I give him the phone number for Burpee so he can get a catalog and gorge himself on glorious color photos of plants (a nice activity on a blustery gray afternoon, by the way) and suggest he call Rutgers' horticulture department and see if they have a list of retailers who sell the plants they mentioned in a recent news article. "You're a honey," he tells me, and winks, and I am tranformed into a girl in a pink twin set and pearls and it's 1949.

In praise of birthday suits

2008-01-31T19:51:00.000-05:00

I'm having a bad body day, meaning I'm just uncomfortable in my skin. My thighs are touching. My feet and legs are begging to be released from the boots I'm wearing because the zippers are poking them. My bra just doesn't seem supportive today. My sleeves feel awkward.

So, basically, it's not my body at all, it's being clothed. So this quote from Bertrand Russell seems appropriate.

This was written in 1929, in Marriage and Morals.

“The taboo against nakedness is an obstacle to a decent attitude on the subject of sex. Where young children are concerned, this is now recognized by many people. It is good for children to see each other and their parents naked whenever it so happens naturally. There will be a short period, probably at about three years old, when a child is interested in the differences between his father and his mother, and compares then with the differences between himself and his sister, but this period is soon over, and after this he takes no more interest in nudity than in clothes. So long as the parents are unwilling to be seen naked by their children, the children will necessarily have a sense that there is a mystery, and having that sense they will become prurient and indecent. There is only one way to avoid indecency, and that is to avoid mystery.

There are also many important grounds of health in favor of nudity in suitable circumstances, such as out-of-doors in sunny weather. Sunshine on the bare skin has an exceedingly health-giving effect. Moreover anyone who has watched children running about in the open-air without their clothes must have been struck by the fact that they hold themselves much better and move more freely and more gracefully than when they are dressed. The same thing is true of grown-up people. The proper place for nudity is out-of-doors in the sunshine and in the water. If our conventions allowed of this, it would soon cease to make any sexual appeal; we should all hold ourselves better, we should be healthier from contact of air and sun with the skin, and our standards of beauty would nearly coincide with the standards of health, since they would concern themselves with the body and its carriage, not only with the face. In this respect the practice of the Greeks was to be commended.”

don't know where to go with this, but...

2008-01-19T15:35:00.001-05:00

I had to tell someone.

There is a man who is in the library every Saturday that I am here, probably all the others too. He makes it his business to at least once fart very loudly in the reference room.

People! They're beautiful, scary, and highly addictive to watch!

Felines now for the Future

2008-01-15T17:17:00.000-05:00

It's not time yet for a new cat, mostly because Harry WILL shred me in my sleep if I bring another little bundle of joy into the house, but I've reached a decision: my next cat will be a solidly built gray boy and I will name him Henry Rollins.

Interestingly, the real Hank did once have a cat, and he was a beauty.

http://www.hellohenry.com/2007/12/30/hello-kato/

2008-01-15T10:42:00.000-05:00

Well, Harry is doing fine today. He may have been just having a hairball, not to mention that it's dry in my apartment due to the heat being on. He's going to the vet soon anyway - when I go to (*snif!*) pick up Little Girl's ashes I will make an appointment.

Still no word from CBG, and I don't have the interest in pursuing him, to be perfectly honest. In time, I'm sure we'll talk. Not right now! I'm laying low, getting to bed early most nights, and just trying to get used to the place without LG around. I'm still looking for her when I come home! I expect her to come out of the bedroom or jump down from the couch. No dice! :-(

I'm a little surprised at how little CBG comes to mind lately. It all seems like a weird interlude. The only thing that bothers me about it is that YET AGAIN, I will be single on Valentine's Day. Meh, I'll be on a business trip anyway. I'll be in Steamboat Springs, CO - hey, I should stay a couple days and take a ski lesson or something, no? Never know who's going to be on the slopes...

Can we make this a slam dunk?

2008-01-14T08:25:00.000-05:00

Harry was dry-heaving this morning when I woke up.

This would be news not unimportant of itself, but given the loss of his sister last week, and the guilt I'm experiencing over not getting her to the vet sooner, it's wonder I'm not at the vet right now.

Coupled with the fact that this recent minor tragedy has cemented my opinion that Comic Book Guy is NOT the one for me, I am batting 0 for 400. I'm just wondering how else I can mix my sports metaphors to reflect my darkish outlook at the moment.

holiday treats

2007-12-19T09:20:00.000-05:00

The party was on Monday, but today is the first day my head is on right enough to narrate, so I may not have all the details right. Or maybe I won't really document it all here, just the recipes for what seemed to work so well.

We had a hootenanny for the cool kids at the office, my coworker who just moved to my complex and I - she hosted appetizers and a very fine lasagna, then we all trooped to my place for dessert and white Russians. A lot of stuff happened in between - too much to relate really, but suffice it to say a walloping good time was had by all. The last guest who intended to go home left at 2, and in the morning I had non-driving revelers on every flat surface in my living room .

The star of the show was the red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting, helped a bit by a much heavier hand with the cocoa powder (seriously. who only uses a teaspoon? Make it more like 2/3 cup).

I also created cups of mousse au chocolat and some fruit galettes that are surprisingly popular as party leftovers even today, day #3. Those are so easy you don't need a recipe: thaw a package of frozen puff pastry and cut each sheet into 9 even squares. Top each square with thinly sliced firm fruit such as apples or pears, then drizzle each with melted unsalted butter and a teaspoon or so of sugar. Pop into a 400 degree oven until the pastry is browned, about 10 minutes.

Bon appetit!

I love a mystery - water edition

2007-12-08T12:58:00.001-05:00

Just got back from a site visit to McKinney, TX, north of Dallas-Fort Worth. Now I'm hot on the research trail to find out just what in the HELL makes their water supply so foul.

It's clear, but smells like it's pumped straight out of a swamp. The smell is actually nauseating, which made showering an interesting experience. I brushed my teeth with bottled water. In restaurants I ordered sodas with no ice, because as I found to my sorrow, all the ice cubes are made with the nasty stuff. So were lemonade and iced teas, not to mention coffee. Oy!

Now I have known people who have wells on their property, and the water was just fine. Some families in the hamlet where I grew up had what they referred to as "sulfur water," which had a distinctive odor of strong sulfur, sometimes like rotten eggs. But the taste could be gotten used to, especially if you reminded yourself of its supposed benefits, much like the water to be found in Saratoga. But Texas water - YUCK! Don't do it. It could be its own Fear Factor challenge!

Please coin this

2007-11-14T09:03:00.000-05:00

My boss invented this Sniglet-like word to describe certain kinds of clients who make us want to kill, whose projects always go wrong no matter which way we try to accomodate them and whose solutions are insanely complicated. Having had a few myself, and needed a polite way to speak of them, I am especially grateful. Please, go spread this widely wherever you see fit so that the world may know of its rightness.

He calls them "clustomers."

Monday nite at the library

2007-11-05T20:29:00.000-05:00

Please, young man, for the love of GOD use the tissues I took over to you because you are sniffling every five seconds so hard I can hear your nose vibrate.

No, no, no! Don't sneeze and wipe it on the back of your hand!

Dear sweet jesus, who raised you?

Rowr!

2007-11-01T20:43:00.000-04:00

So I've been seeing Comic Book Guy for a little shy of a month now and I guess it's pretty much official that we're each other's steady weekend date. Things are going swimmingly in most departments - he's fun to be with, easy to talk to, likes interesting things, smart, has a great vocabulary, etc, etc.

The subject came up the other day and I haven't been able to put the term "cougar" out of my mind since. This is a slang expression, once perjorative, for an older woman who preys on younger men and sucks them dry. I think it was coined by jealous younger women. Anyway, Samantha from Sex in the City is meant to be a cougar prototype - sexually adventurous, successful, confident, not looking to be tied down, usually up for something with anyone, but if he's younger, so much the better.

Comic Book Guy, who *does* have a name I can't decide if I should make public yet, is 11 years younger than I am. Does this make me a cougar???

I don't feel in the least bit predatory. I never said I didn't want to be tied down (i.e., in a committed relationship - get your minds out of the gutter!). This just happens to be someone with whom I have a lot of sympatico. Is that so wrong?

I should be flattered, because the term is gaining approval as a badge of honor among "older" women (sorry, I don't even think of myself as out of my youth yet). At any rate, I am SO not buying the book.

Level Seven...going DOWN!

2007-10-30T19:10:00.001-04:00

Yep, I was always pretty certain I was going to Hell...but never knew what neighborhood. So it turns out I'm violent, heretical, lustful, and gluttonous. Woot! All my favorites!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

miss match 12 - an even dozen

2007-10-11T20:16:00.000-04:00

Okay, guys, I gave up and quit Match. I just wasn't happy with the people I was seeing who are actually geographically feasible, it's expensive, and I found a new site that's free! It's called OKCupid and the quiz you see below is from there.

OKCupid is a fun site that is designed for matchmaking, and caters to, but is not limited to, dating of all stripes - long term, short term, "intimate." They also have a category for "friends" which means you can just look for like-minded people to hang out with or pursue your favorite activities alongside. It also takes the pressure off potential dating scenarios, since you can frame things as being friends first, which is what I actually prefer. Match is a little too serious, a little too "I want the love of my life." Hey, I might be looking for the love of my life (ultimately...), but I want the experience to be fun!

So OKCupid has myriad personality quizzes and a journal option that lets you lay down what you're thinking about and see who responds.

Oh, and Comic Book Guy is from this website also. We met last Saturday! He is loads of fun! I actually want to keep seeing him! That, right there, is reason enough this website is better, I think.

yeah, I figured

2007-10-11T13:17:00.001-04:00

Your Score:
Mostly Hobbes

You are 30% Calvin and 70% Hobbes

You've got elements of both Calvin and Hobbes, but over all, your sensible side wins out over your wild streak, and you tend toward the tiger. As the picture below indicates, the head is the first place that people usually turn to the darkside (i.e. Calvin): symptoms include irresponsible behavior and crazy ideas. You're liable to both. But beneath that you have a heart, a sensitive side, and this more often than not carries the day.

Link: The Calvin Or Hobbes Test written by gwendolynbooks on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I can live with that

2007-10-02T15:26:00.001-04:00

You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll.

You're totally weird and very proud of it.

Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way.

Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick

What American City Are You?

everything comes back in the end

2007-09-30T08:59:00.000-04:00

My check engine light? It's on again. I'm glad it's not flashing, but I guess something really is wrong. Here I go again...

So I decided to play hookey from my life today. I am going to stay in and try to write something rather than going on a scheduled group trip to Philadelphia to go see the Rodin Museum and the Eastern State Penitentiary.

Why would I decide not to do something so fun, you ask? For the same reason I skipped Scott's 80s party last night. I am TIRED. I get really stressed out by being around people, I've discovered, and my recovery period is in direct proportion to how long I've been around them. Working a second job increases the stress level, because the time I would have to do things during the week is used up. I have to cram more leisure into what time I have left, which sometimes leaves me with a feeling of "Damn it, I have to have fun or else!" And, of course, all of the activities I choose for myself are optional. I forget that a lot.

It's funny that I should be so worn out by people. I've taken the Myers-Briggs test more than once and been told I was an extrovert, but time and again I do classic introvert moves, like hibernate when I get stressed out. (The definition of extrovert/introvert we are working with is that an extrovert is energized by being with people and an introvert is drained by it.) I think I am both. When I am with people, I perk up and get involved in the group, but it takes a lot out of me and I have to balance it out with time alone to recharge. Unfortunately it means I miss out on things I wish I could do in the name of my sanity. I guess that's a draw - I get to not be crazy, but I'm not out having fun every minute of every day. Huh.

miss match 11a

2007-09-29T11:08:00.001-04:00

There is a trend developing for people I gave up on to reappear.

I contacted someone interesting three weeks ago, thinking it was enormously unlikely that there might be more than one single (and straight) landscape designer in Lambertville and that the gent in question might actually be someone I met at a party, a few years ago. Well, he wasn't, but we chatted momentarily and he said he liked my profile and then he disappeared.

In the meantime, many other things happened, and sad to say, because it seems unkind - these people *are* human beings, after all - I left him by the wayside. You snooze, you lose.

Earlier this week I received an email from him apologizing for being so busy and wanting to establish some kind of connection again. I replied, but not too effusively, and he disappeared for a few days, only to email me again this morning that he was sorry he'd done it again, and that he is undergoing a very busy time right now, but that he won't be busy forever.

I sense that he is sincere, but in truth I have been emailing and texting and talking to someone from another website since about the same time Mr. Garden Designer was first on the scene. This other someone, whom I call Comic Book Guy (he does work in a comic store, but he bears very little resemblance to the Simpsons character - thank God), is developing into someone I am very intrigued by indeed. He has a great vocabulary (this is sexier than some might think, to me anyway), has read widely, and so far seems to be the correct blend of insightful and compassionate with witty and multifaceted. He's invited me to an early Halloween party already.

As I mentioned before, the window is everything. You have a short amount of time to get from first glances to moving in closer, and I think Mr Garden Designer's ship has sailed. Or is it that he didn't cultivate the seedlings well enough?

Miss Match 11

2007-09-26T08:40:00.000-04:00

So, when last I said anything I was mentioning that there was a Match guy I was interested in, I believe. We had been emailing each other for a solid week and had graduated to texting and also had a lengthy phone conversation. He is very cute in his pictures, seems funny and charming but not too off the wall, and everything was very promising. We set a date to meet and see how we felt in person.

The day arrived and I got a text asking to postpone the meeting. It was a big news day and, not unusual for him, he had to work a double shift. Fine, I said, not wanting to appear bitchy. And then, there was nothing.

I'm not a stickler for manners on any given day. Use whatever fork you want. As long as you're not covered in what you're eating, go ahead and eschew the napkin if you will. But it did seem to me odd that in asking to "postpone" my new friend hadn't offered any alternate plans. And as I waited, it became clear he had no intention of doing so. Annoyed, I wrote a scant two lines and asked if he was still interested. A few days later, I received a reply that he had a lot on his plate and that he would like to meet, "eventually."

There is a window of opportunity when one is participating in any kind of romance, and especially the electronic kind. The sparks that may have flown as you emailed each other will grow cold very quickly without a meeting in the flesh to make things real, unless you maintain contact in another way. Well, we missed our window.

Mr TV News Guy (okay, he runs the satellite truck, actually) sends me a text every so often in the guise of "staying in touch" still. I respond, but I haven't gotten too excited that these messages mean anything. It's a little sad - well, disappointing anyway. But I've had an "occasional" companion before, and it consisted of a lot of broken dates and vague or superficially nice communiques. He was a nice kisser, but in the end I wanted more. So I'm moving on, and Mr. TV News can either go live or stop the feed.

Philly Phun

2007-09-25T18:55:00.000-04:00

Saturday I went to Philly with young Scott and two of his chums to see the Mountain Goats, who I dearly love, and we all shared a hotel room so as to avoid having to designate a driver. It was a very warm and fuzzy experience and I found myself after a few drinks continuing a flirtation with one of the previously-mentioned chums that had begun a week before.

Have I lost my mind, playing pat-a-cake with someone I was old enough to babysit when he was born? I can't say that it's at all serious. I don't even know the boy's last name. We haven't gotten to know each other by chatting so much as we participate in group banter. But he has hazel-green eyes to die for.

Serious Delirium

2007-09-21T10:10:00.000-04:00

It's Bill Murray's birthday.
Go get yourself some caffeine!

Respect the Law

2007-09-15T11:26:00.000-04:00

Last night I coasted through a yellow light as it was turning red and got myself my very first ticket ever. The cop who pulled me over asked if I'd been drinking and I judiciously said it was too early for me and left out the part about being on my way to the bar. Anyway, he handed me my ticket and wished me a nice evening and - here's the funny bit - I THANKED HIM. For an $85 ticket.

odds 'n' ends

2007-09-09T11:55:00.000-04:00

My check engine light went off yesterday. I am going to take the car for a spin later and see if it stays off. If it does, I'm cancelling my appointment at the dealership and chalking it up to the same old problem I always had of a loose gas cap. Grrr.

I am unreasonably excited, for once, about a guy from Match! This new fella is my age, works in the TV news, and is very cute in his pictures. We have been emailing and texting each other steadily for the past week. A meeting is imminent. Really, he is much more interesting than all the others before put together. And so far he hasn't done anything that makes me think of a first meeting with a mixture of dread and curiosity; I am genuinely excited and at the same time comfortable with it. And very, very nervous. I think he's out of my league. But I've heard it said (somewhat cynically) that love is often a feeling of appreciating your partner so much that you feel you got a way better deal than your partner did. So who knows?

At the very least, we can find out how understanding he is about hair disasters.

Last night I colored my hair, which had over the summer gotten pretty bleached out by the sun and salt and chlorine. I knew that my hair was a little fragile because of this, so I used a shade of auburn I thought would cover things well and left it on the briefest amount of time I could. Well, the tint was all wrong - deep, almost orangey red instead of coppery - because my hair is a little porous. It's not that it's a bad color, but it's just nothing like my actual color. It's too dark and it's not the right range. This too shall pass - hey, maybe people will like it!

skink!

2007-09-04T10:25:00.001-04:00

This weekend's cool thing had to be hiking in the Norvin Green State Forest, then going swimming in the Highlands Natural Pool.On our hike, we saw many mushrooms like the one above, rocks filled with quartz, a coyote who ran away, a young snake we believe was a rattler, and this little fellow, an immature skink with a blue tail.

Norvin Green has a nature center and also rents cabins, if you ever decide you want to play Thoreau and live in the woods (the minimum rental period is 3 months).
I will be going back to see the autumn foliage if anyone wants to go.

miss match 10

2007-08-30T09:15:00.000-04:00

Advice :

1. Don't talk about your acrimonious divorce 10 minutes after we meet.

2. Don't diss your ex and use the word "psycho" more than once to describe her family.

3. Don't call me "honey" in a patronizing fashion.

4. Do stop interrupting me to tell me stories about yourself when you've specifically asked me something and I am answering your questions.

5. Do refrain from mentioning how many other dating websites you are on.

6. Do look like the picture you sent me.

7. Do notice when I have basically shut down and am not listening to you regale me with tales of your "crazy past." Change the subject.

8. Do have a spine and stop pretending to want to do "whatever I want to do," or keep saying "whatever you want."

9. When I tell you a story about something that happened to me, don't roll your eyes and say "you told me about that" and accuse me of not remembering what I told you because I am talking to so many other guys.

10. Don't expect a second date. And no, we can't be friends.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhh!

2007-08-29T08:25:00.000-04:00

CHECK ENGINE LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone tell me this is a massive joke and my *real* car is a nice shiny new Saab filled with candy.

The Office in Bridgewater - UPDATE

2007-08-22T08:16:00.000-04:00

Remember how we started ringing a bell every time our office mate horked?

As of yesterday, he goes out into the hall to do his horking!

Pavlov was right...I love science.

my new favorite marinade

2007-08-21T18:25:00.000-04:00

yeah, okay, it's all basically premade ingredients. But it mixes well and tastes equally good on chicken as it does on beef (try it on short ribs).

Put in 16-oz container:

1 c. ketchup
about 1/2 c. worcestershire sauce
1/4 c. brown sugar
1/2 can beer

Put a lid on it (the container) and shake it well till blended. Voila! Marinate to your heart's content! Should do a whole cut-up chicken, or a couple pounds of the ribs.

again

2007-08-15T18:58:00.001-04:00

how do these Blogthings keep coming up accurate? This is the city I would have picked...

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern.

A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.

A unique soul like you needs a city that offers everything.

No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

miss match 9

2007-08-11T12:08:00.001-04:00

Here comes a big question...and it's not just about me, but it starts with my experience...what the hell happened to just dating? I'm not talking about "casual dating," which I think of as a euphemism for anonymous sex, or the dating of the 40's and 50's when it didn't matter who you went with as long as you went out. I am talking about a friendship between a man and a woman that is not a committed relationship but that involves pleasant social activities and may ultimately lead to a more serious relationship, but does not guarantee one. One is under no obligation during this phase to stay monogamous, and basic etiquette and social graces still apply.

After the tremendously attached style of the previous suitor, I most recently have experienced the warmth and glow of a five-minute courtship. This consisted of the gentleman in question rolling up to my place of evening employ unannounced and expecting to sit down with me for a chat. Mind you, this is *after* I had specifically stated that I thought another evening would be better for meeting. Now, I know that it isn't all that busy in the evening at the library, but I still don't see this as an ideal setting for a first date - especially if I am on someone else's dime. Would you do this to a nurse, show up to the hospital and follow her around while she did rounds? I hope not. (But it's happened. My sister has moved in with her newest beau, a guy she met while he was a patient. Don't even get me started about the boundaries that got violated there.)

Well, he was actually a nice enough fellow and call me a fool but there was a chill in the air that night and, Western New Yorker that I am, cool weather makes me feel romantic. So I allowed him to buy me an ice cream and we talked a while, and I left after that, since I needed to go home and tend to poor old Harry's diabetus. And do you know, not 15 minutes after I got home, he called me up from the car saying he was lost. I think he was angling for an invitation to my place. Which he didn't get, by the way.

We had dinner another night that week. I chose the Afghan place I'd been meaning to try. The food was fine - what wasn't fine was having the fella start a loudish protest over the house policy of charging customers to share. There was a misunderstanding - we had two entrees we wanted to split and merely wanted extra plates - but I was embarrassed by his tone. I concentrated on my food for the rest of the meal. He made amends with the waiter by starting up a conversation with him, at length, about why he should buy a Mac and even what model to buy. There was nothing for me to say, so I sat captive and mute and waited until he noticed me not saying anything.

We went back to my place and I had yet another episode of "Who said you were staying over?" which unfortunately didn't end with me in my own bed alone (see April 06 and the Brit). At least to my credit this time nothing really did happen, and I did make my feelings known about overnighters happening early on. But it's not that he didn't try to wake me early, if you know what I mean. (Boys, here's a friendly tip! Where you wake up all horny and ready for love, I merely tend to wake up needing to pee really really bad! Don't attempt to detain me on my mission with sweet, sweet lovemaking - you might get an eye put out!)

So we get to "date" #3, which consisted of him calling me 5 minutes before I got out of work at the library asking if I wanted to hang out. I explained that I was driving up to Buffalo early the next day and that I hadn't packed yet, and he promised to get out of my way at a decent hour. So he came over and we watched videos. Now, I liked these videos (a BBC comedy called "Black Books" - do watch it). I do a fair amount of watching videos on my own. But what happened next is where it went a little funny to me.

Upon my return, after a suitable interval, and after I had dealt with my rental car and all that persuant nonsense, I spoke with the fella and in the course of the conversation he asked what my schedule was like. For what, I asked, because I didn't feel as though my whole schedule was his business. (I'm a cautious one.) Why, for getting together, he said. What did he have in mind, I asked. He said he hadn't planned anything because he didn't know when I was free. Well, I was seeing a friend early in the evening that night and I was free the next night.

"Call me tonight when you get done with your friend I'll come over," he said. Tonight? I asked. What for? Hanging out, he said. Or watching a video.

I know that it's cozy and nice to be this comfy with someone, and we all crave this. But in this case, I hardly know the guy, I'm not sure that's where I want to end up with him, and oh, by the way, who said you're welcome to invite yourself over?

"I think I'd rather plan an activity," I said. "I'll cook something up for tomorrow night then," he said, sounding a little miffed, and rang off shortly thereafter. I went on with my life and didn't hear from him for several days, and when I did, he acted as though nothing had happened.

I don't get attached quickly. I don't spend hours on the phone with a new guy. I don't "call to check in." I haven't connected that way in a long time, certainly not with any of the Match crowd. I understand this doesn't happen every time and sometimes chemistry develops later, which is why I see laying a groundwork of standard social conventions as helpful. But in this case I was baffled by someone who wanted to assume that going on two dates made me his girlfriend. Nice try, and hey, we all get lonely, but it takes me more time and more interaction to get to that point. Oh, and having a conversation about it to see if we're both on the same page helps too. Funny thing is - he didn't really try too hard to make his case - so I guess being his girlfriend would consist of me thinking up places to eat out and a lot of hanging out at my house. Fancy! He pulled out all the stops, right?

I made an important realization not long ago that I alluded to earlier when I said I wasn't sure how much time/space I had for another person. I am not so much looking for romantic excitement - or a life partner - as much as I am companionship, or someone to do stuff with. So I think I may need to rewrite my profile and make that very clear, and maybe that will weed out some of the couch-dwellers.

the Office comes to Bridgewater

2007-08-10T09:09:00.001-04:00

Game: Dinging for Dave

Dave is a guy in our office who can't seem to restrain himself from clearing his throat (or horking, to use the medical term) in the loudest, most nerve-wracking way possible throughout the day. He seems oblivious to how disgusting this is.

So, to amuse ourselves, we installed a front desk bell which gets dinged every time he horks. We're wondering if it's pavlovian.

when it's finally time to change jobs

2007-08-07T19:54:00.000-04:00

This might be the thing to do.

it's true

2007-08-07T18:23:00.001-04:00

I can't lie.

You are a Playful Date

Your dating philosophy?

"Fun first, romance later"

You rather scream on a roller coaster...

Then stare in to some guy's eyes over dinner.

Guys to look for:

Men with humorous profiles and quirky interests

Sure that business suit guy may look boring...

But if he likes snowball fights, give him a try

What Kind of Dating Diva Are You?

finally...

2007-08-07T09:10:00.000-04:00

I have my car back! She runs very nicely now and she has a shiny new headlight and everything.

As it turned out, it wasn't the transmission - it was the timing belt, which had been installed improperly back in April (remember I had spent a small fortune getting that, and a bunch of other stuff, done?). I am SO going back to the place I had it done and raising hell...and they can reimburse me for the work I just had done too!

must be the heat

2007-08-04T08:17:00.000-04:00

dreams followed road trips
nowhere, rest stops filled with cheese
melted over all.

not so fast there, little missy

2007-08-02T15:32:00.000-04:00

My little Kia has a broken transmission and she isn't running. Got her as far as off the lot at the body shop and then, she failed. Oy! Now she's at the dealer awaiting her fate.

Stay tuned; it might be covered by the warranty. Say a little prayer!

Miss Match 8

2007-08-02T10:27:00.000-04:00

It's been a while, but I wanted to close the book on the last fella since he provided me with ample material. And I simply couldn't keep this to myself - if nothing else, you can learn from my experience.

I had decided that the "nerd" (and really this is an unfair use of the word: he wasn't really the traditional cute nerd in glasses with the quirky sense of humor I adore) had to go, and given that we had only been on a handful of dates, and that no promises were made, I felt I didn't owe him more than a polite and brief email stating that it wasn't working for me. Well.

I got a diatribe as long as your arm asking how dare I make such a decision for both of us, and insisting that it was my fault that he had grown attached to me in such a short time because of how I had behaved toward him. He said that he wanted to talk to me and that he planned to call me at work, he said, because at least there I would have to answer the phone.

Oh horrors, thought I, I need to nip this in the bud. So I wrote again and said talking would not be constructive and that, in all fairness, I had made my decision for myself and my own happiness alone, and that sooner was really better than later. Well.

This is what I got back recently. If you can even follow the narrative thread, please feel free to let me know. At the very least I can know that I was justified in choosing to cut things short.

Are you ok?? From the accident I mean? I hope you're alright and just your car got messed up.

It's ok I wasn't going to call anyway. After a little more thought I realised I didn't want to after all. Don't worry, although you can see this is a large mail again (sorry, I'll stop, really! :), it won't cost you to read it, I don't want anything from you. You should at least know that I end by wishing you well and that _now_, thanks to your last reply, there are no hard feelings.

Look, I do want more than someone who has no time to spend, but I'm also willing to wait for something right. I know all about timing beleive me. I've missed the boat once or twice myself and only realized it later. I think you are missing the boat right now.
I don't know that you/we're right. I do know I very much want(ed) to find out. I wasn't kidding, I do not get involved easily or lightly. I took a pretty big leap (for me) going after you. I guess for you it wasn't a big deal but it was for me. Like everyone else I've had my bad experiences, and I have a very hard time not turning sour on all women everywhere just because I happen to get hurt almost every time. It gets harder and harder to open up each time, and takes longer and longer for me to get to a point where I'm even slightly fun to be around. I was really pinning some hopes on this. But at least now with this last response you've alleviated some of what I was going through so I'm not nearly as pissed off and frustrated as I was. I thank you immensely for releiving THAT. That 2 line email out of the blue... man that really sucked, I hope you never ever _ever_ do that to anyone else. Losing interest or changing your mind, those are always possibilities everyone is always aware of, but doing it that way was horrible. Maybe guys have done that to you before, but _I_ never have nor ever would. Even if you were to change your mind (again), I don't think I could ever feel safe with someone who did that anyways so don't worry that I'm not letting go or anything. Letting go is one thing that's definitely happened, sadly.

I really wish you would have consulted me if _any_ of what you just claimed about being concerned for my needs was true. I have many hopes and desires and needs, but I don't need anything on any particular time scale. I am _not_ the typical guy. If you're there and just too busy to come out and play all the time, thats actually ok for me. Just knowing you're there is actually worth probably more than anything else. Ultimately/eventually yeah I'd won't us to be together but it's less important exactly when. I'm busy too. It's ridiculous. Since you sent that mail, actually since the day after the fireworks which was already almost a week of no contact by that time, I resumed paying attention to other girls on chemistry and even adultfriendfinder (I'm embarrassed I even made an account there and I only did it a few months ago) and amazingly enough there turn out to be several completely willing, even enthusiastic prospects, and to my consternation, I can't find time to go on dates! I think I have time to _have_ a relationship, but what I don't have time for is _finding and starting_ a relationship. I think, if your availability to me wasn't just a convenient excuse, that you shouldn't have presumed to do all the thinking for both of us about stuff like that. We're in almost the same boat in that reagard and it's just not fair what you did. Unless in reality the decision had nothing to do with me and you just wanted what you wanted. In that case you should have just said that. But in ANY way besides that damned 2 line email. Next time you are in a position to say you are sorry, say it in person, or even on the phone, or even if absolutely necessary in a longer email. Give them any shred of excuse to beleive you actually are sorry. Because that email only said the exact opposite. It said you're not sorry at all and don't care the slightest bit, and never did.

It probably sounds retarded but I do care about you and I hope you didn't get hurt in the accident and that you're going to be ok with car, insurance, money etc..
I'm assuming you're not in the hospital or anything. And to think I was cracking sarcastic jokes to myself back when you were incommunicado about wondering if you were still alive or had an accident, and come to find out you _did_. Saddens me that you didn't want to call me at a time like that but I understand from your point of view I'm still nobody really. But just for the record, far from not being able to meet my needs, it was actually not too early for you to need lean on me. I'd have been there for you.

Anyways, thank you again for reading and acknowledging my last mail. I really didn't expect you to and as I said, it reversed a lot of the really horrible things I was left thinking, and I don't feel really that bad at all now, which is making a night and day difference being able to talk to others. I'm still open to the possibility of us but of course my blind trusting enthusiasm is all gone. It's merely not _impossible_ . Thanks to the fact that you didn't actually end up ending with that 2 line email, I am coming away from this as a positive experience on the whole and on balance I'm happy to have known you. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate.

Take care. and, non-sarcastically, really, sincerely, have a nice life.

oh joy! Rapture!

2007-08-02T09:44:00.000-04:00

My car is done and I can go get her later today! I'm getting my baby back! (Dare you not to think of the "baby back ribs" song...)

So, the work was done ahead of schedule, and it was $200 less than they estimated! I love these people! (That's Sal's Auto Body of Green Brook - for all your autobody needs...)

Now, I know that getting this excited about my tiny little tin box with a blue book value of $3500 on a good day (I know, I checked) may seem like overkill, but she has gotten me from A to B for a long time and she's the first new car I bought all by myself, and I love her.

what tarot card are you?

2007-07-26T19:43:00.001-04:00

Interesting, I'm getting ready to go to my 20th high school reunion this weekend.
What is the universe trying to tell me?

You Are Death

You symbolize the end, which can be frightening.

But you also symbolize the immortality of the soul.

You represent transformation, rebirth of a new life.

Sweeping away the past is part of this card, as painful as it may be.

Your fortune:

Don't worry, this card does not predict death itself.

Instead it foreshadows the ending of an era of your life, one that is hard to let go of.

But with the future great new things will come, and it's time to embrace them.

Mourn for a while, but then face the future with humility and courage.

What Tarot Card Are You?

$2000 will fix this

2007-07-23T12:16:00.000-04:00

it was all a dream

2007-07-21T18:51:00.000-04:00

Bibliofilly is having trouble adjusting to reality again. Vacation really took me out of myself - in a good way, for the most part - but now the realization that work, and life, await me Monday is making the pink cloud disappear somewhat.

Amid all the excitement of hosting my niece, which was a delightful week indeed, I had a little fender-bender yesterday that tore open a front panel of my car, rendering it undriveable (well, if I want to drive safely). The repair will probably cost more than the car is worth. Is it necessary to have it totally refurbished, or can I stand to drive a mashed-in car with the dangerous parts bent into a safer shape until such time as I can afford to replace it? Poor baby Kia! That car is my whole independence!

Bibliofilly needs to curl up on the couch in the fetal position and contemplate what's next.

OMG HS!

2007-07-15T10:03:00.000-04:00

Angela's almost here! Okay, actually she hasn't even boarded the plane in Atlanta, but I have to get dressed and head to the airport!

Yes: must remember that. They won't let me meet her at the gate without pants.

miss match 7

2007-07-14T10:16:00.000-04:00

Forget what I just said. The nerd is off. I won't be seeing the nerd anymore.

Between the last time I saw him and now, he's gotten...well, creepy. We haven't seen that much of each other and I barely know him and yet he's decided to be smitten with me. It's rather uncomfortable. And before you say that's cute and I should just enjoy it, my unease has made me begin to think that physical intimacy with the nerd would make my skin crawl. Thus, his invitation for next weekend at a B&B in Vermont is not appealing at all. Unless we take separate cars and get separate rooms.

Couple this with the two hand grenades he tossed into our most recent conversation, and I think you would have to agree.

Hand grenade 1: in discussing our senses of humor, he came out and admitted that he liked racist jokes, then he defended this by positing the argument that stereotypes are funny because they're true. Ugh. Defending racism as far as I am concerned is completely non-negotiable.

Hand grenade 2: in discussing where things might be going (I was deliberately vague because, as I said, I was in the information-gathering stage), he mentioned casually that he was in something that had "gone on too long" and that he just was "too lazy to end it yet." So your solution is to go online, find someone new, and use that person as your reason to break up???? So not on.

So there you have it. I think that six dates is a good number - I wouldn't have known this till now. People start to relax and show their true colors after being on their best (?) behavior for a couple dates.

miss match 6.5

2007-07-12T08:03:00.000-04:00

For those of you inquiring minds who want to know...I am still seeing my nerd. We are dating in the strictest, most old-fashioned sense of the word. We get together, have a bite to eat, and hang out a little. Because of my crazy schedule this month (extra hours at the library, full weekends the past two weeks, preparations for my niece's visit next week, catching up with work after being out on vacation, preparations and the reunion the following weekend), that's all I've had the time for - not even a movie, let alone a whole day of togetherness. This will not change until August...if he hasn't given up on me by then.

I must say, it's an interesting problem to have - how do you get to know someone you only see two hours at a time? Because as far as I'm concerned, I'm still in the information-gathering stage, trying to find common ground. I've been enjoying myself, but I haven't had time to devote to it fully.

And there's another question here: as an independent woman on her own, how much space do I have to give someone else? I've complained for some time about being single, but at the end of the day, I am beginning to question if I actually want that to change.

i has a flavor

2007-07-11T09:25:00.000-04:00

http://quiz.ravenblack.net/flavour.pl
What flavor are you?

I taste like Peanut Butter.

I am one of the most blendable flavours; I go with sweet, I go with sour, I go with bland, I go with anything. I am practical and good company, but have something of a tendency to hang around when I'm not wanted, unaware that my presence is not welcome.

miss match 6

2007-07-03T08:42:00.001-04:00

I've met a nerd!

The sister site of Match, Chemistry, seems to actually be working better. Damn right it should, at $50 a month. :-)

I've gotten together with my nerd three times in the past week. At first I have to say, I wasn't completely swept off my feet. He was very nervous and did a lot of the talking. Fortunately he was interesting and I cut him some slack. We met and had ice cream the next night after I worked at the library. We sat and talked long after the ice cream was gone. We had lunch yesterday and we're probably going to do something for the Fourth (hmmm....fireworks?)

You know what, when things go well, it's boring, isn't it? :-)

He is my age, he's also not from the area so he gets the whole outsider thing, and he makes me laugh. This is what is important.

We have very little in common as far as interests except in the most general sense - he loves live music and reading, but he's way into folk and science fiction. I mean, WAY. He's going this weekend to a Heinlein convention and it's not unusual for him to attend other scifi-type gatherings. I have always appreciated scifi, but it has never ruled my life. Oh, and he's really into going to ren faires. He actually dresses up. I've never been to one, but I could see doing it. I mean, I could now. :-)

The things I just mentioned would probably have been serious dealbreakers for me until I started wondering if they might not actually be enormous fun if I tried them, so I'm not giving up yet. Yes, I am aware that the coolness factor is about zilch. But being cool and alone is not as enjoyable as being uncool and having fun with someone who makes you smile.

Anyway, there will be a hiatus of Match-related reportings until bibliofilly knows a little more.

Have a safe and happy Fourth, everyone!

you can call me anything but don't call me late for dinner

2007-07-03T08:25:00.000-04:00

The other night I went out for a late night with Miriam in the city. We sat in the window at Lakeside Lounge and just got mellow till the bar closed. Along the way, we met a young woman of diminutive size who was rocking the skinny jeans and tunic look (you can only be skinny to have this work - trust me). She also had the most amazing tattoos all over her neck and shoulders, and no, I didn't get a picture.

At any rate, she got to talking to Miriam (because Miriam always attracts the attention of people wherever she goes, and manages to get them talking) and she mentioned that she's raising a five year old girl in Orlando, FL and that it's hard to be surrounded by Disney when that's not what you want your child to expect of the world, and then she mentioned her daughter's name: Mantis.

Best. Name. Ever.

"I just want her to grow up smart about men," her mom deadpanned, "because men can f!*k you up." Little Mantis isn't in danger of hating her name when she grows up. She wants to be a vampire this Halloween, complete with dripping fangs.

What flavor is the pie in the sky?

2007-06-28T17:47:00.000-04:00

My coworkers and I - we are rather like family - play the MegaMillions drawing twice a week. We put in a buck each and buy one ticket for each of us with the idea that we'll split the winnings evenly. This week the jackpot is up to $91M. I am so convinced that we are going to win because of the wonderful idea we have all been cooking up.

We're going to quit en masse and set up our own publishing/library marketing firm. We'll buy a nice big house and each take a bedroom as an office. This house will have a nice big kitchen so we can have communal lunches, a deck and maybe a pool so we can barbecue and hang out after hours, and a conference/game room/wet bar.

I like this idea so much I feel like it's not an "if," it's a "when." I will be soooooo disappointed if it doesn't happen, I don't even know what to tell you.

Speaking of windfalls, young Scott's roommate, who plays poker instead of working, came fourth in a tournament in Atlantic City this week. He is getting a check for over $100K. Why am I not playing poker???

ooh, ooh! Analyze me!

2007-06-26T18:14:00.000-04:00

In the past 6 months bibliofilly has dreamed over and over about gigantic waves, like walls of water, that crash over her or her environment. Once I dreamed a huge wave the size of a mountain hung over the shore of New Jersey, roaring surf and all, while people laughed and frolicked in the spray. Once I dreamed I was standing in my old apartment and watched as the towering wave swept over the entire building and passed on down the street, leaving me in the building unscathed. I've been on the beach as a rogue wave hit me but didn't carry me out to sea. I've been overtaken by waves stories high and dived into them. Once, in a related image, I surfed on an avalanche (that was fun!).

The interesting thing is that I don't get hurt, I don't drown, and in fact I am exhilarated by the experience. I've been told waves are supposed to mean stress and building tension, and big waves are about overwhelming pressure. But I'm always safe in my dreams - I tuck my head under and find breathing space.

If anyone knows what this is about or can explain it please tell me!

miss match 5

2007-06-19T20:36:00.000-04:00

Well, so last night I had drinks with a guy I'd approached on match whom I thought looked cute and sounded fun. It took us 2 weeks to get in touch with each other (phone tag) and synch schedules, which I barely noticed because I've been pretty busy. In between we weren't really in touch at all, which I figured was fine because I just wanted to check him out in person.

So we drank and talked amiably enough for a couple of hours at the always-nice Harvest Moon. It was light chatter with very little direction and, I noted, very little in the way of personal exploration, or chemistry for that matter. He dodged my questions about him, and asked zero questions about me. He cut it short by saying he had to get up in the morning and lamely shook my hand on the street corner near where I had parked, and dragged out the deathless phrase "I'll call you."

Guys, guys, guys. Let me tell you something.

ONE thing you do NOT have to do is protect a gal's ego - and you WON'T look chivalrous and polite by the way - by pretending that you're going to do something you have no intention of doing. It just confirms that you're a doofus and we're glad you won't be calling.

miss match 4

2007-06-18T08:35:00.001-04:00

Bibliofilly has a date, or at least is meeting someone in the actual flesh, tonight.

This is a welcome relief because although I am pursuing other "leads" as well as this lucky bachelor, I have been somewhat underwhelmed by the e-repartee.

I joined a site called Chemistry, which is Match's answer to eHarmony. You take a bunch of vaguely psychological tests, fill out a profile, then wait to be matched according to your test results and who you say you're looking for. So I filled out the necessary forms and waited. And I waited. And finally, I got someone saying they were interested in me. We jumped through the website's hoops, which require you to first fill out a sliding scale of relationship essentials (ranking the importance of things like personal hygiene, level of ambition, sense of humor, etc), then wait for the other person to do the same. Then you review these and move on to the next little task, asking the other person some canned questions and waiting for their questions to you. Then, and only then, are you allowed to email them in your own voice. Today, after all that hoop-jumping, I got an email from my potential beau, and this is ALL it said:

How are you doing? I hope all is well. Have you been a member long? Do anything exciting this weekend?

So, uh...this is romance?

Forgive me for being the least little bit picky. I know that making a move is hard. I just think that an email to a potential sweetheart should sound a little less like a letter to Grandma and a little more like you are willing to explore new horizons and get to know someone new. Bibliofilly wants to be wooed! I have nothing to work with in that email...

reunited and it feels so good

2007-06-17T11:00:00.000-04:00

What, for heaven's sake, can I write in the tiny space on the back of the registration form for my 20th high school reunion that would adequately sum up what I've been doing since 1987?

"Got the hell out of Dodge" doesn't take that much space, I suppose...

The closer the day gets the less I look forward to it. Fortunately, I will have every right to get piss-drunk, and I plan to warn my mother, whom I will be staying with, accordingly.

As you can see, I do not have all kinds of nostalgia for my high school days. I was a miserable teen and I couldn't wait to get away. Why am I going, you ask? Because it seems like some sort of rite of passage, a useful way to connect with my past and be that much happier about who I am now and how far I've come. Also, I promised my good friend Jennifer I'd be her memory for when she can't remember names.

i love nerds

2007-06-08T10:15:00.000-04:00

I just got off the phone with Matthew Lesko, the Question Mark Guy. You may have seen him on TV hawking his books about getting free money for stuff. He wanted *my* opinion on how to market a new product to libraries!

I think he's hot. He's a rock star among librarians. No one understands this! He's smart, he's funny, and he wears glasses...sigh.

great. terrific

2007-06-07T18:47:00.000-04:00

I was invited by the library director to come and join her and the library staff and the Friends group as they presented a scholarship to one of the circulation clerks who is also a full-time college student.

As we stood about enjoying brownies and freshly-baked devil's food cake still warm from the oven, a clerk came in and said to me, "There's a little boy out here who needs a book," and I said, without thinking, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, "Oh, I don't do little boys."

Laughter, thank goodness, and the gratitude of my library's director, who said that she certainly hoped not.

This moment would be about a 5 out of 10 on the embarrass-o-meter. Not as bad as farting in front of the Queen of England. Not as bad as dropping all your tampons out of your purse in front of your (male) boss (I say from experience). But worse than forgetting the name of someone you've spoken to more than once, or speaking too loudly in a suddenly quiet room. In my humble opinion.

miss match 3

2007-06-07T08:11:00.001-04:00

Things are going in fits and starts.

I've had two people express interest, then disappear since going live. Emails were exhanged. Phone numbers changed hands. I even did speak to one fella and we discussed things to do on a first date. Then...the Big Silence.

I understand that no commitments or even promises are being made, and everyone is free to look and keep looking, but I don't think I understand someone who expresses interest in meeting, then disappears.

Also: I had emailed someone who was marginally interesting to see if I could start a dialogue. He emailed me back a long diatribe about why we were wrong for each other based on our profiles and closed by insulting my profession with lame jokes. I wrote him back and said that perhaps we didn't have much in common, and wished him luck, and received an email this morning that said, in part

...wow, I really scared you away...or your just a snot who can't take a joke...

That really warmed the cockles of my heart, let me tell you. If you're going to be snarky (which I guess passes as wit these days), at least use proper punctuation.

shameless commerce

2007-06-06T13:54:00.000-04:00

You should buy your music at CDBaby. They write the cutest confirmation emails:

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow. A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing. Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy. We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Wednesday, June 6th. I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Sigh...

revenge of the wolf spider

2007-06-05T08:26:00.000-04:00

Last night I saw an ususual dark blob on my floor. Since it was right near the cats' dishes, which can sometimes include the odd stray bit of kibble that didn't stay on the paper, I paid it no mind until I realized that this dark blob had legs. 'pears to me that this mommy spider had a whole lotta eggs she wanted to leave in a safe warm place. I escorted her outside, poor thing. The last thing I need is to support a home for spider foundlings.

miss match 2

2007-06-04T10:50:00.000-04:00

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, really, because I'm looking again too, but I have seen at least 2 people I dated in the past few years on Match now.

Is it mean-spirited of me to say that I know WHY they're looking again/still? I must be careful here - there are two sides to every story. Still, I know I was right in thinking that neither was right for me.

Bachelor #1 had a chip on his shoulder about his own opinions and was pretty intolerant of the likes/dislikes of others. His rant about how much he hated "Lost in Translation" was almost a deal-breaker. I went on one date with him and decided, in the end, that although we *could* talk about things like music and books and movies, it would probably wind up being painful. That, and I had serious doubts about being the only person with a car in a relationship with someone who lived 20 miles away.

Bachelor #2 stated and re-stated his preference for kind and honest women, but was rather cold and awkward himself. Although he liked the same quirky music and movies I did, I could never find the warmth. When I broke up with him after 5 dates, he complained that I did not trust him and that I made no effort to initiate activities. My take on it was that he didn't earn my trust and that he seemed too distant for me to connect with. Next!

Update: since the new profile went up I've had 112 new views of my profile. I got an email from a gentleman in Spain who assures me that he can fly anywhere to meet me and that I look "cute and kind and responsible" (how does one look responsible?), and a "wink" from a fellow who would like me to know that he is not into game players. Both were discarded. Not my cup of tea!

miss match

2007-06-01T20:55:00.000-04:00

Bibliofilly has been busy. In the week since we last got together I got a profile written (this took way more preparation than I care to admit) and posted myself on Match.com.

So here I am again, looking. There's a definite dearth of single men in my workplace, so that's out. My coworkers and friends are all married/coupled off and have no single friends left to introduce me to. I just don't get the whole picking up people in bars thing. I used to complain that there was a stigma about online dating, but then I realized (when it was pointed out to me by a friend) that there's nothing weird or creepy about it anymore. Well, it's one way of meeting people - I'm not saying I'm ruling out meeting people in "real life."

I'm not new to the process, as I'm sure I've pointed out. I've had fun doing it. I've met some interesting characters, that's for sure. Today, I spent some time looking through men's profiles and at some point my eyes glazed over. Now, I wish I could link you to some of the profiles, but it's not kind to anyone who's honestly looking for love and heaven knows putting yourself out there is scary enough. Besides, reasonenough introduced me to the site you need to see on the subject: Profile of the Day, which is HILARIOUS. (I hope I never end up on it.) I guess my intent is just to show the process in motion for those of you with a prurient interest in these things, or just a healthy amount of time on your hands and nothing else to do because you already beat your own score at Minesweeper, or whatever it is that motivates blog followers.

So let's catch up. I've been up for a couple of weeks and, after posting a sincere, honest profile describing some of my best qualities and most interesting quirks and the fella I want to make my sweetheart, I had a little interest from mostly people I didn't feel interested in (seriously. Is every guy in New Jersey "100% Italian American and proud of it" with a penchant for Frank Sinatra, cigar bars, swing dancing and day trips to AC casinos?), and some responses from people I was interested in (I emailed, then progressed to phone talking with a nice guy from North Arlington who suddenly stopped answering my emails before we even got to a first meeting).

So, my eyes glazed over as I read and re-read pretty much the same lists of interests, places traveled, and goals for finding luh-huve. I understand putting your best foot forward and not leaving anything to chance lest you miss out on attractring the eye of your future beloved, but if everyone did all of the hobbies they list (play guitar, ride motorcycles in the desert, skydive, snowboard, kayak, read Dostoevsky, train guide dogs, golf, windsurfing, photography, brain surgery, AND write short humor pieces for Maxim), in addition to visiting all of the places they list as favorites, NO ONE would have jobs. Perhaps these people are all independently wealthy, but I doubt it. At any rate, I find myself drawn to people who can accurately narrow down their interests to the two or three that mean the most to them. These are the things they do most often, and they're also the things I'd wind up doing with the lucky fella in question, so they may as well be things I like too.

Another irritating trend is the abuse of the phrase "I want a best friend, a lover and a partner in crime." If I see it one more time I'm going to throw up. WE ALL want this. It probably sounded great in 1948 when the first person said it, ever. I've decided that stating what you want in a relationship in the profile isn't really necessary. I think it would probably make a nifty conversation later with someone you're interested in and have actually met, once the possibility of a relationship is of more specific, personal interest to both of you.

So I posted a totally spontaneous profile that is brief and should weed out a lot of the people who don't and won't get me:

(headline) I do NOT like pina coladas or getting caught in the rain.

I am a unicellular organism with a short lifespan and I need a mate. My ideal mate should be robust and able to survive hostile conditions. He should also be able to swim upstream. Please write soon, I only live for 24 hours.

So it's on and cracking. You can go ahead and see me in my entirety as Bibliofilly87. And hey, if you like what you see, or if you know someone who would, drop me a line!

martha stewart only went to prison

2007-05-21T14:16:00.001-04:00

Last night I caught the delightful drama "The Secret Life of Mrs. Beeton" on PBS.

It tells the story of an educated middle class woman who, while not domestic herself, being a career woman who basically runs her husband's publishing business, sees the need for some sort of guide to help housewives manage their homes, from finances to child-rearing and cooking and managing servants. So she sets about learning how to do it all herself and writes the book. Along the way, she suffers a heartbreaking series of lost children and a slow decline into poverty as her husband becomes a drunkard.

And what did she get for her trouble? Syphilis. It seems ironic that the very people who seem to be so flawless on paper should turn out to be so imperfect. This is a very witty, very sympathetic telling of the story. Mrs. Beeton is as charming a heroine as you could ever want.

what a world, what a world

2007-05-19T10:29:00.000-04:00

So as you may have heard, Antarctica really is melting.

Yesterday, as I rode with two co-workers to get lunch, the subject came up due to the unseasonably chilly weather we've been having. I am pretty cold-tolerant, so I haven't found a reason to complain, but my very thin-blooded companion (who complains nonstop about the cold whenever the temperature dips below 70) had plenty to say.

"When the apocalypse comes," he said, "I want it to be a hot one, because I hate being cold."

This struck me and the other companion as hilarious.

"Dude," we told him. "You do not get to choose what kind of apocalypse happens. It just is."

Somehow the abusurdity of requesting your own personal end of the world makes me wonder if we're not missing out on a new cottage industry. You can't order up the weather, but wouldn't it be nice if you could tell someone in charge that you'd like to be warm when the planet is wiped out?

This strikes me as something that is more relevant to children of the 70s and 80s. We actually grew up afraid a nuclear war would destroy us all. Speculation on what the world would be like after the bombs fell made the possibility seem more like a probability. That was our reality. I guess it makes sense that I and my friends would be so amused by the potential destruction of the planet - we've lived through this before. Now that global warming really is happening, we're again in a place where talking about the end of the world as we know it isn't just a catchy tune.

Anyway, I feel fine.

looks aren't everything.

2007-05-17T18:56:00.000-04:00

Okay, seriously. I am growing weary of seeing house centipedes in my kitchen sink and my bathtub.

It's spring and that means they're especially active. Apparently all this rain we've been having has given them more of the dampness they crave. But every day I see these not-so-tiny critters racing around in a manner that is giving me chills as I think about it, and I remember that they mostly run around at night. Probably right over me as I sleep.

You know what, though? They're our friends because they eat everything else insectile in sight, and the screens on my windows have a rather laissez-faire approach to keeping out bugs.
I'll never get used to them, but I guess I'll have to fight the urge to reach for a tissue or turn on the faucet when I see them. I think I'll start naming them. Maybe that would help.

librarian outrage

2007-05-15T17:51:00.000-04:00

it's a terrible thing, the wrath of my madness when the freedom of speech is being toyed with.
Okay, I actually only heard about this today on BoingBoing. I have no words. I am shocked, SHOCKED, that anyone would think this is a reasonable way to provide service.

If HB 1727 becomes law, public libraries would be forced to filter all public computers and to provide a companion over the age of 21 for any minor requiring unfiltered computer use, such as for homework research.

http://www.libraryjournal.com/article/CA6442426.html

scope this out

2007-05-09T12:07:00.000-04:00

Today I went and had an endoscopy done for my upper GI tract. All I have to say about it is how quickly it was over, and how great the drugs must have been.

They started the IV and the doctor said, "Goodnight," and I was immediately woozy. "Woohoo," I said, like a party girl feeling her martinis, and then I remember nothing. Then I was awake having apple juice. An hour had passed. In less than another hour I got up and walked out. True story!

I have a sore throat and I'm a little wobbly and lightheaded. I've been warned not to make any major decisions or drink anything. Those are good rules for everyday life, no?

Next week I'll find out what's wrong with me, and hopefully the gastric reflux will be taken care of for once and all. It's been an on-again, off-again companion for fifteen years, but in all honesty, because many of the things that make it worse are those I love the best (spicy food, fried food, onions, garlic, tomato-based anything, alcohol) I wouldn't mind it if we drifted apart for good. Some companions are no friends at all.

purring like a korean kitten

2007-04-24T19:40:00.000-04:00

I just laid down almost as much money as I did in a down payment for this car for repairs and maintenance. 60,000 miles only comes every 60,000 miles or so, I guess.

Not to belabor the point, and reasonenough knows this one already, but remember when $20 seemed like a lot of money and you could make it last all week? You slowly got used to withdrawing $40, then $60, then maybe $80 at a time from the ATM and you were careful to make it stretch so that you still had money for after-work drinks and cab fare home if you needed it. Later on you had to buy furniture, or new computer equipment, and hundreds piled up. That wasn't so bad either once you did it a few times. I hardly blinked when I paid $650 for a couch (okay, that was actually a steal).

So here I was today, replacing the timing belt. And the water pump, and all the other belts, and cleaning the fuel injectors and flushing the air conditioning and tranmission and replacing a tire and - heck - throw in an oil change and new windshield wipers. And the bill was over $1400, and I paid it without even a second thought. I just drove away in a car that felt tighter and drove better, and the engine was barely audible, like when it was brand new.

I will make you all admire my car when you see me now, because that is where all my money has gone. It's not as exciting as new boots or a better TV. But I am determined to derive the same amount of pleasure from it. Trip to France? Hell no! I got the Kia serviced! Worth every penny. That's peace of mind I paid for, son.

Or something.

girls with guns

2007-04-24T13:47:00.000-04:00

Yes, with my women's outdoor activity club I learned how to shoot both a rifle and a pistol last Saturday. I'm not going to join the NRA anytime soon, but it was FUN! The potential for stress relief was obvious and immediate. I may have found a new hobby.

I am far left, rear. Not the most flattering photo, but I look as pleased as I really was.

At The Library

2007-04-12T20:38:00.000-04:00

I am not that standoffish a person, I don't think. I try to be open and as friendly as I can be given my current mood and hormone level. Some advice for you, sir, who seemed so bewildered by my iciness:

1. If you approach me for help, it's not necessary to lean over the desk till I can see all your dental work.
2. Coming around behind the reference desk "to see better" is also not encouraged. Allow me to swing the screen out so you can see what I'm doing. As if you'll remember what I did anyway. I smelled the liquor on your breath in #1.
3. If something on a website excites you and you can't wait to write it down, ask me for a pen. Don't attempt to grab the one I am writing your ILL request with.
4. If I ask for your library card, hand it to me, don't hold it out 3 feet away from my face. I can't see that far. Reading off the barcode while I type won't help me, either.

That is all. For now, anyway.

I love public service! I do believe in fairies!

life is a banquet

2007-04-03T19:36:00.000-04:00

Auntie Stacey will be hosting her niece for a week in July. I am already scouting places 9 year olds would love in the NY-NJ metropolitan area, with a growing sense of excitement and anticipation.

So far I have planned:

1 day at the shore, because what beats the Jersey shore?
1 day in Brooklyn to see Coney Island and the NY Aquarium (because she loves penguins and she needs to see a REAL boardwalk) , with a possible stop at Spumoni Gardens in Bay Ridge, or possibly Patsy's downtown and a walk on the Promenade with some ice cream
1 day to see the Museum of Natural History and Central Park, and other city stuff I haven't worked out yet
1 day to go to Philadelphia and see the Liberty Bell and have cheese steaks

If anyone has any suggestions, let me know...

Girl Scout Cookie Season

2007-03-22T14:02:00.000-04:00

If you don't know what else to do with that box of Thin Mint cookies (as if this EVER happens),
line a pie plate with whole cookies and fill it with softened mint chocolate chip ice cream, then top with a few crushed cookies. Freeze until solid again and serve mit Schlag.

Also, if you didn't already get yours, the new Lemonades cookies are quite yummy, if you like lemon creme on shortbread. Highly recommended!

My eyes!

2007-03-21T10:27:00.000-04:00

Two posts in one day! After weeks of silence! Whatthehell.

Guy walks up to me at the info. desk last night with a magazine in hand.

"Did you ever see THIS?" he asks excitedly, showing a page.

Foolish librarian, I thought. You were ready to help with a question.

"Yeah, I saw that once on the internet," I said truthfully. "It gave me a migraine." Also truthfully.

The fella walked away, visibly disappointed that he hadn't shown me something new and exciting. Or maybe he was flirting with me. Who can say? Although it was a weird exchange, I couldn't help but feel a little bad that I couldn't be as entertaining as he wanted. I wanted him to come back so he could wave the picture in my face some more as I fought nausea and dizziness.

What is wrong with me, anyway?

I enjoy being a churl

2007-03-21T10:04:00.000-04:00

Okay, no I don't . But as the noontime invites drift in to go get free ices or free iced coffees I find myself doing my usual dance of "Thanks, but no thanks."

It seems strange, but despite living alone, I still find that I value my time to myself. Rather late in life I am discovering that I just don't have a "group" mentality. I don't need to go to lunch in a pack of people. I sometimes join the folks in the office, who go to lunch together every day and send out memos inviting each other. I can't seem to bring myself to feel like it's necessary every day. I am a bad pack member. I would probably wind up being that one that went off on its own and ends up freezing to death in a snowbank, like in those nature films about wolves.

But hey, by the way, Happy Spring First!

today i am grateful

2007-03-04T09:48:00.000-05:00

I want my Saturday night back. It all started innnocently enough with a couple of beers and plans to clear my Netflix queue of the movies I've had for a couple of weeks.

So then my sister, who has been M.I.A. for at least a month, calls me. Her news was a "short, sharp shock" that snowballed into a two and a half hour conversation I kept hoping was a dream. I seriously think at some point I dissociated and watched myself talk on the phone without really being there.

Then, too restless to passively watch movies, I was on the phone another couple hours with a girlfriend who really gets me and my quirks of thinking. The better part of a 12-pack later, I retired to bed. Where else could I go?

So today, as I pace the floor and try to regain my equilibrium, I am going to remember some things that I feel good about recently.

1. Harry is getting better and looks glossy and happy since starting insulin.

2. I have been exploring my girly side and finding solace in skincare. (shallow, but oh so true...)

3. I am branching out in my friendships and discovering there are more layers to the onion than I thought, in a good way.

4. I have begun to plan for spring, when I'll be able to get outside and go hiking again, this time with some different activity groups.

5. I'm planning on at least one trip to see old friends this summer. My niece will be coming to stay with me, too.

6. I'm going to get back on the horse and start dating again. Online, maybe. (Anyone want to take some pictures I can put up?)

7. I am slowly, but surely, reconnecting with the friend I worried might be lost to me.

8. I've started writing again, even if just in a small way, in my journal and Haiku! Gesundheit.

9. I have a new couch. (yes, I am scraping to get to 10 right now).

10. Spring is coming. (The increased light actually has lifted my mood.)

Telephone Trivia Time

2007-02-28T20:19:00.000-05:00

Just about every night that I work at the library and sometimes on Saturdays, I get a phone call from a lady who is in her sixties. She always asks reference questions that are more like trivia questions:

"Do you know if there was ever a song called 'Violets for Your Furs'? Isn't that a weird name for a song? What does it mean anyway?"

"Where would I have seen Ellen Barkin, is she TV or movies?"

"What's that song that the guy from American Idol sang, the guy with the gray hair?"

When I first started working at the library and I was nervous about being rusty with reference skills, her questions would annoy me. She doesn't like to wait for you to look up the answer in a book somewhere. She doesn't care if you verify your source or not. She just wants to know the answer. Once or twice I think she even hung up on me while I made her wait on hold. I found it very unsettling in the beginning.

I was trained in telephone work, you see. I worked at New York Public Library's (somewhat) famous Telephone Reference department, where we answered basic (and not so basic) questions over the phone, with a time limit of 5 minutes per call. In a tiny, freezing room filled with books and a card catalog, we would search for answers to questions ranging from finding cross streets in Manhattan to getting the dates a play ran on Broadway in 1948. We used the internet, but not exclusively; actually some of our best sources were the ones we had made ourselves, editing and updating existing encyclopedias and almanacs by hand. (I was assigned for a while to "do the dead people," meaning I had to read the obits in the Times every day and update, by hand, the entries of the Almanac of Famous People.) Now hardly anyone calls in on the phone; they use the online chat or email features and get their answers electronically. But all the same, you can bet that no one is answering off the top of their head, even if they know the answer.

So now, here in the suburbs, my frequent caller is a reminder of those days. The other day she told me, "You know, my memory isn't so good anymore. Sometimes I think of things and I can't place them." It turns out she's bedridden after a stroke a few years ago. I guess she sees the library as a reassuring place to go to find out that she hasn't totally lost it yet. "I like talking to you," she said. "I guess some of my questions sound crazy, but sometimes stuff bothers me when I can't remember it." I told her that it was not crazy at all and to call away if she had to. I don't mind being someone's touchstone with reality.

I don't know where that goes in my job description, but I'm pretty sure it qualifies as "other duties as assigned." How do I put that on my resume?

a frisson of spring

2007-02-21T12:26:00.000-05:00

Going outside and discovering that I didn't need to bundle up created a strange, new lightness.
Spring WILL be here - I BELIEVE! Amen.

Political - and out of character

2007-02-13T18:09:00.000-05:00

But sometimes, fever lends clarity to thoughts.

This morning I listened to NPR a little and I had a very compelling thought:

When our fearless leader, the Shrub (as the late great Molly Ivins called him), talks about increasing funding to send more troops to Iraq for the "surge," does he also think about increasing funding for the medical and psychiatric care of the soldiers who will be wounded, maimed or mentally impaired by being sent over there?

Just curious.

what I'm reading today

2007-02-11T17:16:00.000-05:00

Anybody Out There? by Marian Keyes.

I adore Marian Keyes. She writes "chick lit," but it's not about women who just have hilarious misadventures and light romantic involvements that always end cheerfully; her characters have depth and real problems, sometimes serious ones (in a previous novel, Rachel's Holiday, the "holiday" refers to a stint in drug rehab). And plus, she's Irish, so you can read her prose with a lilt in mind as you run across terms like "banjaxed."

I'm having a right larf reading this one, about a woman in cosmetics PR who is letting go of her story bit by bit about how she met her great love, Aidan, and precisely how she came to be badly injured (at the beginning, we know she's got many broken bones and stitches, but the "reveal" does not take place all at once). The story is engaging and feels "true."

Not as bad for you as junk food, but not as much hard work as great literature.

Can I Be Frank?

2007-02-11T16:10:00.000-05:00

Well, actually I want to be Stacey, but I have to say, I am having a bit of a time lately. I vowed to keep my morose ruminations to myself, and I am filled with self-loathing for even mentioning this here - but has anyone out there found themselves drifting away from someone who had previously been a very close friend? I can't be the only one.

Sure, it happens all the time. I've been acutely aware that I was more "into it" than my friend was for a while. What makes it awful is that I don't want to be just casual pals, as he prefers, at least right at the moment. I'm in unrequited friendship! This is just like when you like a person, and they like you, but "not that way." To be fair, my companion is making some changes in his life, and I do wish him well in his endeavors. It just couldn't be worse timed if I am having to scale back my expectations. This has resulted in a somewhat strained nodding acquaintance. I guess we will reconvene and see where we are somewhere down the road, but right now I am not holding my breath.

All you married and committed people have just one more reason to be glad you're not still single, no? I'm sure friendships don't seem as significant if you have a significant other. (Or are they?)

Well, says I, among other things I will have more time to blog. So here's a quiz to see if anybody is reading:

What was the worst friend "breakup" you ever had?

oh snap

2007-02-09T13:49:00.000-05:00

Harry's blood sugar spiked and he's a little out of the normal range.
Back to the shots...but the good news is that I learned how to make a better "skin tent."
Less fuss means the medicine goes in the cat!

fingers crossed

2007-02-08T10:10:00.000-05:00

Harry's visit to the vet yesterday showed that his glucose levels have decreased dramatically.
As an experiment, I have stopped his insulin shots and we're going to re-test his glucose tomorrow. If it doesn't spike, he's no longer diabetic!

No one could be more thrilled than me if he doesn't need shots twice daily. Except Harry, of course.

Snuggle is just a fabric softener

2007-01-30T20:37:00.000-05:00

Now that I can't tell you what I had for lunch, not that I would (okay, fine, I had a BLT and some Italian wedding soup), I have to come up with something else. How about another cliche - I will complain about how Valentine's Day stuff has been out for a month now.

'kay, it's a little touchy for me - Stacey hasn't had a date since July. I'm not feeling all that sad about it personally - I have too much on my plate to deal with and throwing a new person into the mix would not be a good option. In fact, right now, in my sleep-deprived state the closest thing to romantic I can think of would be taking a nap with someone cuddly. Perhaps I should check out one of those cuddle parties.