Friday, June 01, 2007

miss match

Bibliofilly has been busy. In the week since we last got together I got a profile written (this took way more preparation than I care to admit) and posted myself on Match.com.

So here I am again, looking. There's a definite dearth of single men in my workplace, so that's out. My coworkers and friends are all married/coupled off and have no single friends left to introduce me to. I just don't get the whole picking up people in bars thing. I used to complain that there was a stigma about online dating, but then I realized (when it was pointed out to me by a friend) that there's nothing weird or creepy about it anymore. Well, it's one way of meeting people - I'm not saying I'm ruling out meeting people in "real life."

I'm not new to the process, as I'm sure I've pointed out. I've had fun doing it. I've met some interesting characters, that's for sure. Today, I spent some time looking through men's profiles and at some point my eyes glazed over. Now, I wish I could link you to some of the profiles, but it's not kind to anyone who's honestly looking for love and heaven knows putting yourself out there is scary enough. Besides,
reasonenough introduced me to the site you need to see on the subject: Profile of the Day, which is HILARIOUS. (I hope I never end up on it.) I guess my intent is just to show the process in motion for those of you with a prurient interest in these things, or just a healthy amount of time on your hands and nothing else to do because you already beat your own score at Minesweeper, or whatever it is that motivates blog followers.

So let's catch up. I've been up for a couple of weeks and, after posting a sincere, honest profile describing some of my best qualities and most interesting quirks and the fella I want to make my sweetheart, I had a little interest from mostly people I didn't feel interested in (seriously. Is every guy in New Jersey "100% Italian American and proud of it" with a penchant for Frank Sinatra, cigar bars, swing dancing and day trips to AC casinos?), and some responses from people I was interested in (I emailed, then progressed to phone talking with a nice guy from North Arlington who suddenly stopped answering my emails before we even got to a first meeting).

So, my eyes glazed over as I read and re-read pretty much the same lists of interests, places traveled, and goals for finding luh-huve. I understand putting your best foot forward and not leaving anything to chance lest you miss out on attractring the eye of your future beloved, but if everyone did all of the hobbies they list (play guitar, ride motorcycles in the desert, skydive, snowboard, kayak, read Dostoevsky, train guide dogs, golf, windsurfing, photography, brain surgery, AND write short humor pieces for Maxim), in addition to visiting all of the places they list as favorites, NO ONE would have jobs. Perhaps these people are all independently wealthy, but I doubt it. At any rate, I find myself drawn to people who can accurately narrow down their interests to the two or three that mean the most to them. These are the things they do most often, and they're also the things I'd wind up doing with the lucky fella in question, so they may as well be things I like too.

Another irritating trend is the abuse of the phrase "I want a best friend, a lover and a partner in crime." If I see it one more time I'm going to throw up. WE ALL want this. It probably sounded great in 1948 when the first person said it, ever. I've decided that stating what you want in a relationship in the profile isn't really necessary. I think it would probably make a nifty conversation later with someone you're interested in and have actually met, once the possibility of a relationship is of more specific, personal interest to both of you.

So I posted a totally spontaneous profile that is brief and should weed out a lot of the people who don't and won't get me:

(headline) I do NOT like pina coladas or getting caught in the rain.

I am a unicellular organism with a short lifespan and I need a mate. My ideal mate should be robust and able to survive hostile conditions. He should also be able to swim upstream. Please write soon, I only live for 24 hours.

So it's on and cracking. You can go ahead and see me in my entirety as Bibliofilly87. And hey, if you like what you see, or if you know someone who would, drop me a line!