Monday, January 08, 2007

Sweet, sweet relief

Color me happy when the "Check Engine" light on my dashboard goes off spontaneously.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Haiku you

My work comrade Andre (who used to be trapped in the same rabbit warren that I am, but escaped to a different place) occasionally, and with no warning, slips into haiku when chatting by email. What's even more interesting is that I can't help writing them too. I printed and saved several examples and, having found them in a cleaning frenzy brought on by my search for a rap I had written entitled "My Carafe," about a coffee carafe (which I will include later). Now I share them with you.


January 22, 2002
Someone had left a Hostess fruit pie in the common area near the coffeemaker where snacks frequently appeared. We thought it might have been a new hire who was a little tightly wound.

From: Andre
To: Stacey
Subject: OK

what's the story with that opened hostess fruit pie on the fridge?
I am going to eat it if no one claims it. I don't care if it's poisoned or not!

From: Stacey
To: Andre
Re: OK

well, hell, those things have so many chemicals it's doubtful poison would make any difference...go ahead, I dare ya!

From: Andre
To: Stacey
Subject: OK

I can't. I just know it was Maddie who brought it in. She's hoping J. will take it.

From: Stacey
To: Andre
Subject: OK

Wouldn't she pick something more irresistible?

From: Andre
To: Stacey
Subject: OK


probably. This pie is truly a mystery!

Mystery pie
how I long to taste you
in your waxed paper bag


Lightly frosted pastry
surrounds cherry goo
now I am thirsty


Eighteen grams of fat
five grams unsaturated
no wonder it rules


January 23, 2003
There was some idle banter about the sneezings of a coworker. I mentioned a second cup of coffee, and Andre lamented

But isn't the pot empty?

Martin looks sleepy
he fills his coffee stein
empty coffee pot

the pot is empty
the grounds are soggy and beat
time for another

two coffee haikus
about the lack of coffee
hmmm...is this a hint?

I rise from my cube
and go toward the coffee
guess I'll get some water

oh! the guilt! I sit
on my lazy ass while
others do the work


February 16, 2005

I had some trouble biting into a nectarine that was probably not really worth it, which led to a discussion of haiku.

Biting into flesh
my athletic nectarine
does not surrender

Haiku is not for
people who like their poems
verbose and languid.

but it follows form...
perhaps you learned from writing
taught by sad haiku.

self-referential
haiku...poems eat themselves
meta nutrition


March 21, 2005

Once I was so hungry I ate ramen without adding water.

In desperation
I crunch the dry cup noodle
boiling takes too long.

my tongue is numb now
chicken flavor runs riot
now for something sweet!

I can't do haiku.
I can only write verses.
Don't you have duck suace?

Blurgh! That ruins
the simple salty pleasure
in every crunch.

(worst ever haiku written about ramen)
Msg, ms
g, msg, msg.
Msg. Salt, salt!

(second worst)
Soup soup soup soup soup
Soup soup soup soup soup soup soup
Salty noodle soup.

Sticking with my cat

The latest news in the world of Stacey is that Harry Cat, who has lived to be a ripe old 12 and a half, has developed diabetes. I found this out Friday night, when I (finally) had the time and money and courage to take him to the vet and find out why he was drinking so much water and why his hind legs didn't seem to work too well anymore. I put myself through all kinds of wringers beforehand (inlcuding the inevitable "what would I do if I came home and he was dead?").

So, here's a plug - Dr. Heidgerd in Martinsville spent almost an hour with me (are you kidding? I'm lucky if my own doctor spends 10 minutes) explaining how cats get diabetes, and what happens if it gets worse, and how to treat it. (Lesson number one: don't feed only dry food. It's loaded with sugar and other corn byproducts.) So Harry is going on a low-carb, high-protein diet and I am trying to get him to eat the prescription food he was given. I have a big syringe in case he crashes and I have to give him a quick shot of Karo syrup. Oh yes, and I am giving him insulin shots twice a day.

It's people insulin, and I got it at Costco. I had no idea that vets had prescribing privileges that extend to people medicine - but there you have it. Giving a shot to a cat is actually a lot easier than you think - just sneak up on them while they're eating, find a spot on their midsection, and lift a tuft of fur to make a little skin tent. Pop the needle in and push the plunger. The needle is so fine and tiny that they hardly feel it. Harry doesn't even flinch, and I'm not that good at it.

For example, take care not to do what I did this morning: insert the needle at a 45 degree angle (no more, no less) or you run the risk of having some of the insulin leak back out. Oh, and don't poke the skin so vigorously the needle goes through the other side.