Saturday, April 15, 2006

Last night went to an evening of "smoke 'em if you got 'em" as NJ says goodbye to smoking in bars and restaurants. It was sad, but joyous at the same time. We did a mini crawl of a few choice locations in Brunswick and smoked in every one. It seemed only fitting and good.

In other news, there is no other news.

It's Saturday, the birds are singing, the grass is green, and it's supposed to be in the mid 70s today. I hope to get it together soon and go see if I can't make the car cleaner and the gas tank more full so that I can go places, namely: I owe G. a big fat visit and I'd like to get into the city again. I love New York in the spring.

My tankini top arrived with minimal fuss from the new place I am trying out for bras. I would encourage anyone to try this place out if they are a D-cup or larger - they have pretty, reasonably priced, and well-made bras, bathing suits that will actually keep your chest from dropping down to your stomach at the beach (my top has a built-in bra, a real one, not just some lame liner that doesn't even cover "the grrlz"), and even tops that are proportioned to fit one's larger bosom without looking like a tent below that. It's well worth the exchange rate to try - they are located in the UK. Lucky ladies over there have this place as a store they can shop in. But they ship air mail and if what you want is in stock, you'll still have what you ordered inside of a week. Check it out: www.bravissimo.com.

So much for shameless commerce! Go enjoy this beautiful weather we're having.

Friday, April 14, 2006

I grabbed the text below from Wikipedia because it reminds me of someone. Actually, a lot of someones. At any rate, it is astonishing the number of people like this I've run across in the online dating scene.

I have my theories. Using the internet especially allows an element of control that I think appeals to this kind of person. They can choose who to respond to and when, even how (to make sure they elicit the right kind of response), and it's less likely to send up red flags because the signals that would come through in personal, face-to-face contact are absent, and email is a medium that is ridiculously easy to misinterpret. How well do you think someone who is easily irritated and has a low threshold for expressing frustration is going to do in the delicate business of meeting people in person? At least online they are in control, and at least for a short while they will probably be able to sustain some control over their impulses in person.

I've created a system I call the three-date rule. In my experience, (just about) everyone can behave themselves for at least one date. If they are still fun and not throwing up major red flags after two dates, you might be onto something. Three dates is where people really start to relax and feel more at ease. For me, this is when if I am comfortable, I begin to feel free to be the loopy gal I really am. For others, I have seen it make them into affectionate and well-meaning guys, and I have seen it make them into neanderthals, and I have seen it make them into little children. Guess which one is the desirable one to me. Guess how often it happens.

I have my own part to play in this, obviously. I may be stuck on certain types who are no good for me. For example, there's a certain kind of smartass who initially seems like they're lots of fun to match wits with, but who ultimately winds up being an arrogant blowhard.

Now, I like a little banter (especially if the banteree is cute), and I am not flirting if I'm not playful. I like smart people and I like hearing about what they know. I'm willing say that I don't know everything, and I am tolerant of the fact that others may know more than me about some things, but I don't diminish those things because I don't know as much about them. I'm not averse to looking up a fact or two in the heat of a discussion, but I draw the line at insulting anyone who isn't 100% correct, or at needing to be right so much that extraordinary measures are taken. (Oh, yes, I do mean calling a friend from the street to have them Google information for you.)

There is a point at which a discussion can go from "spirited" to "heated" and begins to resemble a competition more than a conversation. Then it's no longer playful and fun, it's personal. It's also extremely unsexy and almost always boring. Okay, so gotta watch that. My weakness is men who are smart, but it shouldn't also be my downfall. I want to make love, not war, baby.

At any rate, the DSM description below was a revelation. People like this are incapable of seeing beyond themselves. Run for the hills.



Dissocial Personality Disorder (F60.2), usually coming to attention because of a gross disparity between behaviour and the prevailing social norms, and characterized by:

callous unconcern for the feelings of others;
gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations;
incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, though having no difficulty in establishing them;
very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence;
incapacity to experience guilt or to profit from experience;
marked proneness to blame others, or to offer plausible rationalizations, for the behaviour that has brought the patient into conflict with society.
There may also be persistent irritability as an associated feature.

Monday, April 10, 2006

For some reason when we were younger my sister and I used to enjoy
loudly whining petty-sounding complaints. One of them was "There's
nothing to eat but dry toast!"

I do have a little toast festish. But it's not a problem. I can stop
whenever I want.

In any event, Dr Toast's World of Toast is bursting at the seams
with toasty goodness. http://www.drtoast.com/ Best recipe on the site: http://tinyurl.com/lvft2

A colleague of mine knows of my toast-o-philia and brought me a package
of little Brazilian toasts this morning. It takes a place of honor next to my
little bottle of tequila (for emergencies) and my little laughing buddha. A
shrine to toast, if you will. I am complete.