Friday, June 30, 2006


Last night I was treated to dinner with Karen and the fam as part of Meat Aid '06 (a.k.a. "we discovered a gremlin left the freezer door open and we're giving away all the rapidly thawing meat") and the older sprout was lamenting a wound he'd recently received (casualty of going shirtless) piteously throughout. No amount of boo-boo kissing from Mama, or ice, or helpful suggestions that he had experienced worse and lived, could convince him that the pain he was suffering right then was not the worst thing that had ever happened. It was a brush burn in his underarm region that was freshly pink and it did look a little ticklish, I have to admit, but surely not worth the strident and anxious protests.


After I carried off my meaty booty and reached home, I thought I would do a little personal grooming, as is my wont. Long story short, I guess I really shouldn't use Nair on my underarms beacuse I have a rash under my left ampit right in the bend. Guess what? It HURRRRTS!
I didn't want to put on clothes, I didn't want to put anything on it and I definitely didn't want to touch it. The sting is very, very distracting and even small movements are noticeable.

I feel your pain, little one.


Blogger karen said...

A cinnamon Altoid, eaten in front of said little one, finally stopped his tormented screams. Eyes bright and totally fixed on the Altoids tin, he said, "May I have an Altoid, please, Mama?"

Knowing that he's got a recently developed addiction (if I leave a tin out anywhere visible it's EMPTY when I return), I replied, "No - your arm burns already. An Altoid might put you over the edge."

His arm instantly snapped down from over his head. I could almost see him drool. "I think I could take it. I'd like to try."

"If you have an Altoid, you will not make one more peep about your arm. Not one! And you'll also stop holding it over your head like it's dislocated."

"Ok." I handed him an Altoid, which he popped into his mouth casually with the very same arm that, moments before, had caused limb-loss worthy screams when someone looked at it.

I'm not sure this resolution will work for relief in your case, though...I've done that before and, OMG, IT BURRRRNNNNNNNSS!

6/30/2006 09:31:00 AM  
Blogger Epiphany Alone said...

Awesome! :) I will have to keep in mind that Ross has a weakness for cinnamon altoids. I personally love the ginger ones. Lauren prefers the sours.

The only thing worse than underarm hair removal burn is bikini hair removal burn. Besides you get the lovely effect of having all your friends and coworkers think you have crabs.

6/30/2006 10:17:00 PM  
Blogger karen said...

Ross and Lars both prefer the peppermint Altoids, with wintergreen as the runner-up choice. Any Altoid will do, though, in a pinch. Lars will occasionally shove three or six of them in his mouth at a time and then, when caught, will manfully not spit them out...although he typically returns to the one-at-a-time approach following the mouthful method.

There is just no good way to remove hair in the bikini area. I'm thinking there might be something to skirted swimsuits after all...I've sort of gotten over my need to endure torture in the name of fashion. I'm an over-thirty mother of two - I'm not supposed to be fashionable anymore (as if I ever was).

7/05/2006 11:52:00 PM  
Blogger bibliofilly said...

Well, girls, I think I may go get a Brazilian wax and see what all the fuss is about. Not that I really wear anything that makes it necessary - I guess I just see it as a challenge to my female machismo. And I hear you get really, really smooth.

Of course, I could just get myself knocked up and wait to see what childbirth is like...

7/06/2006 08:32:00 AM  
Blogger Aubrey said...

My favorite Altoid is Tangerine.

7/11/2006 06:43:00 PM  

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