Saturday, March 18, 2006

pet peeve of the day and a question:

I take daily exercise walks through my partially wooded neighborhood usually after it's dark. The residents of the area have gotten used to seeing me (and other people) taking constitutionals, usually keeping well to the side of the road (no sidewalks), 9 times out of 10 carrying a flashlight.

What is it that makes these drivers immediately flick on their highbeams after sighting me?

How does a woman in a zip-up fleece and sneakers resemble a deer, and why once they have identified me as a biped human, do they find it necessary to leave their brights on? The 10 seconds it takes for them to approach and pass me are excruciatingly long when I am literally blinded. It makes sense to stand still until they pass, like a - a...deer. In the headlights. I have taken to standing there with my arms over my face, a la Richard Dreyfus facing the mother ship in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. A bit dramatic perhaps, but it makes me feel better.

Word to the wise: turn your brights off until you've passed someone. Deer will not attack your car for the 3 seconds of halogen (or neon or xenon) brightened protection you will miss. Promise!

Rant over.

Deer in New Jersey, there's a phenomenon I watch with interest. As some may know, I once kidded about making a horror flick called "The Herd," where bands of belligerent deer would start taking back the suburbs by making residents afraid to leave their homes. I know that given a chance to speak these allegedly gentle creatures with their giant liquid eyes and silent ways would be pretty pissed off, actually. "Another Dunkin' Donuts???" they would say. "Give me a freakin' break. Isn't one every other mile of highway enough?"

Or maybe I am just anthropomorphizing. Yeah. They'd probably be okay with all the development if there were more Borders. At least at Borders they have decent coffee, and you're always free to browse.

Har har! A little deer humor for you. Thank you very much! Enjoy your evening. I'm here all week!


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